slow-dog.backintheusa

Thursday, February 28, 2002

Poorest title for a job ad at a major job website:

US-CA-Silicon Valley/San Jose-College Grads this is your chance...Help Desk!!!!

12:13 PM PST
[link]

Monday, February 25, 2002

SatireWire has been much funnier than other humor sites lately.

Evidence: this and this

01:24 PM PST
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Friday, February 22, 2002

Last night, TV aired the greatest sporting event that ever was or ever could be. No, not figure skating. That's right, I'm talking about Fox's Glutton Bowl. Yup, that's right, eating is a sport. I learned last night that it's even got a governing body, the International Federation of Competitive Eating. Last night, for two hours, wave after wave of eaters, champions in their respective fields (hot dogs, eggs, jalapenos) met to do battle in the "grandaddy of all eating contests." As I watched it unfold, I thought, "history is being made tonight". The announcers felt the same way, because later in the show they said the same thing.

And it was all there, the big guys, the deceivingly skinny guys, the guy who "drinks beer to expand his stomach" for training. The competitions were varied: eggs, butter, hot dogs, hamburgers, mayonnaise (last night we saw a "new world record in mayo"), beef tongue, sushi (a 15 foot long roll with 1 foot sections of pure wasabe), rocky mountain oysters, and cow brains. The strategic miscues ("wearing that fashionable goatee may be a liability in competitive eating"). The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat ("he suffered substantial esophageal stress in the first round").

But the winner of it all was a slight 130 lb. Japanese guy, whose bio stated "Once ate an entire Chinese restaurant menu." He blew away all competitors in his preliminary round (hot dogs--his specialty), then proceeded to astonish all in the finals (cow brains). While others were working hard to throw down their 10th brain, this little Ubermensch was working on his 50th! The commentators were gushing in their praise: "This is a professional athlete at the top of his game." It was remarkable. I couldn't help but agree with the most over-the-top assessment in this most over-the-top event: "Many believe he is history's greatest eater." Indeed.

10:01 AM PST
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Tuesday, February 19, 2002

From my horoscope for today:

You're still slow, but don't despair.

01:15 PM PST
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Monday, February 18, 2002

After holding out for over two years, I've started to tweak the pages a bit. Mostly, I wanted to try out cascading style sheets. I'm still learning, but so far it looks OK using IE 5.0 and K-Meleon. Let me know if things look funny on your computer, as it would help me out lots.

01:45 PM PST
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Friday, February 15, 2002

In a stunning event, America is hated by corrupt bureaucrats:

A strong anti-American feeling has existed among many IOC members since 1998 when 10 of its members were forced to resign or were expelled after they were found to have accepted a total of $1m in cash, gifts, scholarships and other inducements to win votes for Salt Lake's Olympic candidacy.

The article suggests that this may be the last Olympics the US ever hosts, which is fine by me. Let China bribe IOC members and host the rest of them, as far as I'm concerned. I'm down on the Olympics, but I get sucked into them, as long as I can watch them live--especially if I can root for some small country like Latvia, Austria, or Canada to win. That's why I didn't watch in 1998 or 2000, and I won't watch them in 2008 when the Chinese will probably be staging everything to coincide with my sleep time. This year, it's amazing, but NBC has pretty much gotten rid of showing things live, which sucks. Although the first US Men's Hockey is on live in about 20 minutes, so I will check that out.

stolen from drudge

02:43 PM PST
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From Michael Moore's site:

6. NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE "STUPID WHITE MAN!"
I will put up on my site a list of your favorite stupid white men and let everyone who visits the site in the next few months vote for who the top stupid white guy is. Your nomination should be a public, political or corporate figure. Send us, in 100 words or less, who your favorite Stupid White Man is, and we will put up the Top 20 and let the people decide. Remember -- no slander, keep it clean, and email us a photo of the bastard if you have one! Send all nominees to our office manager at: Maureen@unitedtv.com

Here is my nomination:

In the interest of public discourse, and with the knowledge that Michael Moore is a supporter of free discourse, I nominate Michael Moore. Consider the following Stupid White Man Qualities:
1. Thinks his first amendment rights would be violated if a private company chose not to publish and distribute his book.
2. Thinks there is some equivalence between the 2000 presidential election in Florida and the Holocaust with respect to the treatment of Jews.
I'm sure others can come up with more.
Sincerely,
Sean Anderson

01:52 PM PST
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Tuesday, February 12, 2002

I'm not sure what this is all about, but I came across this site which is somehow linked to Pravda. More investigation is required, but I'm all for learning what Russians find funny, which is what I think I'm looking at.

02:31 PM PST
[link]

Thursday, February 7, 2002

For the record, two of my favorite sportswriters are: Mark Kreidler and Scott Ostler.

03:23 PM PST
[link]

mine

not mine

slow-dog.backintheusa